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The official uniform of pretending to care during the 9 a.m. strategy call.
The “Synergize. Optimize. Disassociate.” tee captures the soul of modern corporate culture — forced enthusiasm up top, existential dread underneath. It’s sleek, soft, and the perfect shirt to wear while nodding through another “quick meeting” that ruins your afternoon.
Whether you’re brainstorming buzzwords, aligning deliverables, or spiritually checking out mid-PowerPoint, this shirt says it all — so you don’t have to.
Perfect Gift For:
Anyone fluent in corporate jargon and burnout
The coworker who answers “Let’s circle back” with “No, let’s not”
Team players... in survival mode
• 100% cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²)
• Open-end yarn
• Tubular fabric
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem
• Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico
Disclaimers:
• Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.
• Dark color speckles throughout the fabric are expected for the color Natural.
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
Synergize. Optimize. Disassociate. T-Shirt
$20.00 USD
The “Synergize. Optimize. Disassociate.” tee captures the soul of modern corporate culture — forced enthusiasm up top, existential dread underneath. It’s sleek, soft, and the perfect shirt to wear while nodding through another “quick meeting” that ruins your afternoon.
Whether you’re brainstorming buzzwords, aligning deliverables, or spiritually checking out mid-PowerPoint, this shirt says it all — so you don’t have to.
Perfect Gift For:
Anyone fluent in corporate jargon and burnout
The coworker who answers “Let’s circle back” with “No, let’s not”
Team players... in survival mode
• 100% cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²)
• Open-end yarn
• Tubular fabric
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem
• Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico
Disclaimers:
• Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.
• Dark color speckles throughout the fabric are expected for the color Natural.
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
Other Details
Shipping
We will work quickly to ship your order as soon as possible. Once your order has shipped, you will receive an email with further information. Delivery times vary depending on your location.
Manufacturing
Our products are manufactured both locally and globally. We carefully select our manufacturing partners to ensure our products are high quality and a fair value.